


Choking on Your Affections

by zeph_who_idontknowher



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25806466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeph_who_idontknowher/pseuds/zeph_who_idontknowher
Summary: Looking back Barty should have known it was him, but now it didn't matter. Regulus was dead.
Relationships: Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Choking on Your Affections

Of course, Barty thought, it was obvious in hindsight. He had no clue how he hadn't noticed. But standing over Regulus' dead body next to only a house elf and holding a tulip he feels like such an idiot.

It seemed like Regulus was always coughing recently but really it was just around him, coughing up petals and cutting up his throat as he threw up the stems. Butchering the memory of what used to be Barty's favourite flowers, now whenever he thinks of tulips he thinks of petals speckled with blood and mountains of flowers, sitting half decayed in a pile of bile while his best friend sobbed at the pain in his throat, as he choked on his love for a person he always refused to name.

And now here he stood. Having been called to the house that Regulus had lived in alone, aparated straight into his friend's bedroom to mourn him in private and be handed one, whole, tulip and be told that “Master Regulus wanted you to know that he loved you."

And suddenly Barty was crying, for the first time since his mother died he broke down and cried, for the first time since he had filed the hole left by his sub-par father figure with the man who had offered him everything his name sake hadn’t, he felt like he had failed.

Failed in comforting his friend, holding his pride too close to his chest and holding his eyes to tightly shut to see that by keeping his feelings hidden he had been suffocating the man he had always wished was so much more than just his friend.

The man that was now gone.

Cold.

Pale.

Empty.

Dead.

Regulus.

And so he knelt and while one hand loosely held the last flower that Regulus had expelled from his body, the other wrapped around the now stiff fingers of his love and brought them to his lips praying to Mother Magic that if he was ever to be granted a miracle this was the moment.

But if his time with Regulus had taught him anything it was that Magic was not kind. And Barty was by no means a necromancer. And Regulus was dead.

But for now, even if it would never happen, sitting here, Barty would wish and whisper it into what used to be soft and smooth skin.

I love you too I love you too I love you too I love you too I love you too I love you too I love you too

No matter that he was too late to make any sort of difference, the passing of time and the burn of the mark on his arm and the plates of food that routinely arrived and left and the tears that rolled down his face and the hitching of his breath couldn't stop him from saying those words.

I love you Regulus Black.

**Author's Note:**

> I cried, did you cry?


End file.
